A new awakening

This is a really refreshing period of real true awakening. How many times do we all say at one point yeah yeah I forgive you it's ok and better but when tested we learn gee no I am not really not that forgiving. Ok so here is how it went.

Saturday I went to this Half Day workshop/retreat on Spiritual cleansing and meditation. Basically we opened our chakras and looked inside at what could be holding us back or what was bothering us and with God's Help and the angels we try to release and let go. So in one of the guided meditations the guide states ok if you are angry at someone visualize them see them bring someone that you are very angry at, and honestly at first I was like no I am not angry at anyone. I kept in the meditation concentrating on the chakras and opening it and releasing pent up emotions and all of sudden I visualized this person this creepy little person who had said such mean nasty things personal things and all this was oh wait for it - Elks related! Oh dear Lord what happened afterwards was incredible.

I see this person and oh yes I am angry very angry and as I am concentrating on the chakras and following the instructors guide on speaking and letting it go I start to cough and cough and cough my chest is like being pulled up. No I was not sick the cough was not a cold coming on I felt like my chest was being pulled up and coughing was part of it. I felt bad at first because I thought I was distrubing the others I later learned no I was not but still that was a concern. I laid there and I went through with the technique and as quickly as the coughing came it was gone and I felt this release or weight on me. I realized that wow I really am/was angry at this person. The whole group of it but mainly this person. That anger is not good not good at all and I need to release it so I said I forgive you be gone. I set it free I set my anger away and I said anger is not part of my life and I forgive you for what you said/did. We continued with the meditation and other parts of the workshop. I learned forgiveness and tolerance. I felt much better. Then something happened on Sunday.

Sunday the phone rings at home and I see its from the Elks Lodge. I am looking at that number and I think no I don't want to talk to you BUT I am NOT angry. It was more like I am in a happy place right this moment and I am not going to distrub that. Well I see the message light go on and I wonder I wonder what they wanted. So eventually I broke down and picked up the message and it was an office personnel. She called because she had heard how hurt I had been over what someone had said (they made this comment almost a month ago), and she wanted to tell me that it was not the new officers view but more of that one person's view. She went on to say how she wanted to apologize to me and she would rather do it in person because they missed us and they wanted us to feel welcomed again. Ok now I have to admit any other time I may have been like oh blow it out your ear but not this time.

This time I believe she was truly sincere. She really was upset over it. So the question is why now the call? Could it be that since I placed it out there and threw it back out like I am no longer angry at you and the whole thing so now it's like ok here is your test - how forgiving are you? Well here it is I need to put my actions out there. I am going to forgive. There are certain things I am not going to over look but I am going to forgive. I will start with going to a Lodge meeting in December. I can't do it this month because of the holiday however I will make it to a Lodge meeting in December. This will be huge for me. Will I go back to volunteering?

No. Sorry I like the things I am doing now in my spare time I will not put myself in a situation where words will hurt me for something I did as a volunteer.

Pretty tripping weekend huh? How will the rest of the week be?

Stay Tune.